RadheRadhe!

It was a wonderful trip. It was not what I expected, but it was everything I needed. I pretty much threw out all my expectations the second day I was there and decided to let Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara lead the way. Srimati Radharani was really the one in charge. She is the guru.

I stayed in Vrndavana, Mathura District, Uttar Pradesh, India. For a few days I stayed with a friend while she got me acclimated to everything--here's the store, this is how much you should pay the rickshaw driver, here are some people you should meet, here's how to avoid the monkeys, etc. Then I was on my own in a little apartment, lent to me by another friend, in Seva Kunj.

This is the first page of my journal:

Seeing Your face encircled by curling locks of hair, Your cheeks beautified by earrings, Your lips full of nectar, and Your smiling glance, and also seeing Your two imposing arms, which take away our fear, and Your chest, which is the only source of pleasure for the Goddess of Fortune, we must become your maidservants.
-- SB 10.29.39

Surely they are describing Sri Syamasundaradevajimaharaja. So beautiful! From my little apartment I could see the top of the temple building of Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara Mandir. What wonderful Deities. (Their website has THE most beautiful pictures.) I would go most every day to this temple to chant japa. I would watch the pujaris putting the awesome candana (sandalwood paste) on the Deities' faces, intimately resting their arms on the Lord's while putting all the dots and decorations on His face. What a meditation.

This part of town is so wonderful. From the veranda I could see Seva Kunj to the right and to the left on the hill I could see Rupa Goswami's Govinda Mandir. Down on the street if I turned to the right from my gulley I could go to Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara Mandir, turn to the left I could go to Sri Sri Radha Damodara Mandir. Wow. So incredible.

More from my journal:

I really like LalaLali. The fact that Srimati Radharani gave Syamananda a Deity from Her heart is so amazing. Vrndavana is like that. So many stories of Her helping devotees. I pray that She helps me, too.

One day, while I was there chanting, I was watching the pujaris. One came in with a huge pile of Tulasi leaves and started setting up the arotika tray. He picked up a Tulasi leaf and dunked it in the acman cup, then stuck it on the bell. The he got two more, dunked them in the water then dropped them into the conch shell full of water. Then, to top this all off, he took the plate of Tulasi leaves over to the altar. He picked up one, touched Srimati Radharani's hand, then placed it at Sri Syamasundara's feet! He repeated this a couple of times.

I was completely enthralled. First, what a great idea, Tulasi on the bell and in the conch water. But then, touching Srimati Radharani's hand before offering them to Krsna's feet? Wow, of course! Everything should be like that. Everything offered to Syamasundara should have Her approval, Her touch. Her hand is in every devotional act we do, whether we recognize it or not. So sweet.

Everything there felt so natural. One devotee said that I looked like a fish in water. It's true. There was no opposition to anything--either from my side or from anyone else's. Everyone chants, everyone's a vegetarian, everyone knows the books I read--the shared culture, for me, was great. Of course, I'm the western woman in a sari so I can't blend in that much, but I felt at ease. I felt the authentic nature of the tradition and felt authenticated by it. I needed this trip in so many ways. I felt my place in the world there. I was at home, as I should be.