Kirtan

Had a little kirtan at my place last week. Keshavacharya das, with his wonderful fiance Kamaniya, came to sing bhajans about Krsna. So very nice. Check out his website: http://www.keshavacharya.com/ Fifteen to twenty people came, some I knew, some were new, friends made great food, grandson played kartals, I played his drum, everyone sang sweetly to Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara. One friend wrote: "Jay jay jay. It was a lovely evening. The name is our taste.....our spiritual experience." It's true. My little apartment was filled with joy, Vrndavana was here, it was sublime. It was so very empty when everyone left.
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What the Shawl Said

श्री
रा
धा
श्
या
म
सु
न्दा
र
दे
व
जी
म
हा
रा
ज

Reflections -- Radhe Radhe!

In reviewing my journal entries, there are still a couple of things I want to say.

Dec 13th, Moscow, 4:45 am
. . .Wow, this is all so strange--this transition from US to India, from work life to my quest life.

There's a Russian movie on the plane. A man goes out with his friends and wakes up the next day in another town, another apartment . . . but he thinks it's his. The woman who lives there does not agree. Various situations arise--old boyfriend, old girlfriend, insecurities--and they fall in love. The search for love, the misidentifications of the spirit, their stories and ramifications. Sounds like samsara to me!

Making the mental transition from the US to India took some time. I had to leave a robotics competition before it was completed to catch the plane on time. Then on the flight I broke a tooth. When I got to India, I couldn't wear my glasses for fear that the monkeys would steal them, then broke another tooth. [Completely unrelated.] It took a good 4 to 5 days before I was oriented and felt that I was actually there. I was finally able to be there without all the worry that goes with a trip. I had food, water, a place to sleep, a monkey stick, extra glasses, and a cell phone. I went to see a dentist. I was at peace with the lizard in my room. I was set. Once I was comfortable with all this, everything was good. But, this transitioning was time consuming. I don't want to do that. I want to be there now. Similar to "Be here now" but there. Not physically, but in consciousness, there.

Dec 22nd, Vrndavana
So many things. It really feels as if I'm being directed. Shown this, then that. So easy to just get lost in it all. . . . So what am I doing here? Just to see that there are so many devotees and they're not nuts is enough. To have faith that Srimati Radharani is directing my path is wonderful. To know that I have initiation from such a wonderful ragatmika bhakta is such a profound and grounded feeling--so secure, so tangible. It's something that is so sufficient, but more. I don't need any more. I need to perfect what I have.

I came on this trip with a little personal agenda. Hoping that Krsna would take of it for me, I felt great. That didn't really work out. I felt like I was fighting myself. It wasn't good. I spent a day in bed bemoaning the trip and decided to just let it be, then the tides changed. A friend asked me how I knew that Srimati Radharani was directing me. Everywhere I went everyone was telling me stories about Radharani, reading verses and saying that Radharani was the foremost maidservant so we should pray to Her for understanding, I was next to Radha Syamasundara Mandir where She graced Syamananda Prabhu, and I was sleeping every night right next to Seva Kunj! She was always there. She is the guru, my Svamini.

Jan 2nd, Moscow
Leaving Vrndavana was a bit of a trial. I saw online that the flight was canceled, so the person I was driving with into Delhi went without me. After talking with a travel agent, it turned out that it wasn't canceled. Naughty Krsna. Took the wind out of my sails about how happy I was to leave. I cried when it was finally time to go. It was really so mixed--all the filth and trash, all the goswamis and tirthas. And then there's the hidden Vrndavana. I think that Vrndavana can be found anywhere, it's just hidden.

This was my mystical exit from Vrndavana. I did finally give everything up--leaving, staying, whatever, Krsna, you decide. Then, everything fell into place and I could leave. Then I started to cry because I was leaving, I didn't want to go. Naughty Krsna. A friend wrote: "Oh my. Poor you! Stuck with Krsna!!! He is very naughty boy! Berry berry bad boy!! See you berry soon!"

The transitioning out of Vrndavana was much quicker, unfortunately. Had an all-school meeting 2 days after I got home. Was so very happy, but gradually the tedium of work eroded it.

You should go, take a transcendental trip, be there now.
Radhe Radhe!
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More on Sri Radha Syamasundaradevajimaharaja

I just have to write some more about this temple. You must visit their website http://www.radhashyamsundar.com/ Such beautiful pictures! This is what hundreds of years of Deity worship looks like. They, the Divine Couple, are so beautiful. Oh, the title of this posting is from a shawl that was given to me by the pujaris. All around the border it says "Sri Dhama Vrndavana," then in big letters down the middle it says, "Sri Radha Syamasundaradevajimaharaja."

I loved going there in the mornings to chant. It was just unbelievable to watch the pujaris apply the sandalwood designs to Their faces. The pujaris leave the doors open so you can see what they're doing. (You can see from this picture that He has incredible designs on His face.) It's a wonderful meditation. When I was there it was cold, the Deities wore mittens, so only Their faces were decorated.

First, using a small stick and a cup of sandalwood paste, the pujari draws the outline of the arch above His eyes, then waits for it to dry. Then he makes the dots above the arch, then pulls the sandalwood in each dot down to touch the arch. Once that's all dry, he can make the other decorations on His cheeks and chin and fill in the arches.

This one morning, there was drama going on. The pujari made the arches and was beginning to make the dots above one arch. The head pujari came by and talked to him about it, then walked away. He came back and said something else, then took a wet cloth and erased part of the arch and some of the dots over one eye. The other pujari then went back to work redoing the arch and dots. The head pujari came by again, said something, and erased a little more above both eyes, then walked away. The other pujari went back to work. Again, the head pujari came back. This time he erased it all and walked away. The other pujari went back to work, without a word. The head pujari came back again. This time he erased everything and did it himself. He worked very quickly. He studied the Lord's face, rested his arm on Krsna's hand, and finished all the decorations adeptly. It was amazing to watch! While all this was going on, I was moving from one side to the other to keep up with the drama. Very fun! What a great morning.

On my last full day in Vrndavana I wanted to see Syamananda's bhajan kuti. It's underground. Apparently they found it while doing construction on a new building in the temple complex. So, down a flight of stairs into a small, vaulted room. Made, or reinforced, with brick, it was quite warm on this cold January day. Inside there were Deities of Syamananda and Rasikananda, his disciple. It reminded me of a sensory deprivation tank. You couldn't hear anything and were impervious to weather and just about everything, including monkeys!

I can see this kutir as a way to focus for meditation, but I so love the world that Krsna has created. I love to see Him in all of everything.
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Nidhuvana

From my journal:

Went to Nidhuvana, the place where Sri Sri Radha and Krsna sometimes rest after Their night of dancing. Very clean, lots of short trees (or tall shrubs) with clean, dusty dirt all around, with little pathways going in and out and around all over. You can just see the gopis running through them with Krsna.

This is where Haridas performed his bhajan and where he found Banke-behari. [Haridas established the style of singing called dhrupad.] Haridas' samadhi is here, also.

There is a small temple there that I, at first, didn't understand. As I looked at the Deities, I saw Krsna holding a flute and the pujari said that Lalita and Vishakha were on either side. It just seemed weird that Srimati Radharani was missing. The pujari saw that I was confused. He repeated that this is Lalita, this is Vishakha. Finally I realized that it was Radharani with the flute! This is where She stole Krsna's flute! There She was, Radha the flute player.

This is a beautiful little grove. The dirt is very fine and clean. Walked completely around, found more pathways under the trees. Monkeys not really interested in people. Got dusty from paying obeisances and crawling around trying to get through the bushes. Started to brush it off, but thought that was a really stupid idea. I was covered in the dust of Vrndavana, isn't this what we pray for? Tried to spend more time on the ground to get more on me. Such a nice place, strangely magical. If hidden Vrndavana is anywhere, it's here.
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Rangaji Temple

I spent some time trying to find the Rangaji Temple. The last time I was in Vrndavana, Srimati Radharani gave us the darshan of an elaborate and exquisite bathing ceremony of Her in the outside courtyard temple. (It was an ecstatic event to end our visit.) I wanted to go back.

I looked at the map and had an idea of where to go so I started out. Didn't find it. Tried again the next day, found it, it was closed. Went earlier the next day, found it, it was open. Twenty years ago this temple was closed to Westerners, but now it's open. I went in and was very happy.

It's a South Indian style temple with the big towering gates. The inside has the main temple in the middle, with Deities all along the inside wall with Their own rooms. As I was walking around I found what I was looking for. As a person possessed, I walked toward it and paid my obeisances. After twenty years my memory was fairly accurate, but dimensions and distances were a little off. But, there it was. Took some pictures but the memory is much more rich--with sounds of shennai, smells of incense, and the vision of Srimati Radharani being bathed. So beautiful and opulent . . . and personal.

Here's what I wrote twenty years ago. (The pictures are from this current trip.) The "we" here are my daughter and I. She was in 8th grade at the time.

Our last day in Vrindavana. I really like it here, I don't want to leave. We went this morning to visit our neighbors in back of the guest house. Small compound with cows and an altar with Radha Krishna. Nice, but dusty.

Took a rickshaw to Vamsi Vat, the wish fulfilling tree. Prayed that I would become a good devotee and understand Prabhupada's teachings correctly. Went walking after that to try and find the Jamuna river.

We happened into a really wonderful temple, the Rangaji Mandira. Southern Indian style in architecture and very spacious with large courtyard and bathing ghat. We came in through the main gate and saw a small temple (can't remember if Garuda or Hanuman was there). Just beyond this was a large building with heavy canvas-like material covering all four sides.

As we came up to the building there were a few groups of women sitting on two sides. A man came up to us and said to us in a little English that soon there would be darshan. So we walked around and when we heard the bells ringing we came back.

The guards weren't going to let us back in, saying "Not allowed, not allowed." I said I didn't understand and kept walking. The same man we'd seen before came and told the guards it was okay and took us to a spot and told us to sit down. I could see into the building where the curtain had been drawn and there was Srimati Radharani being attended to by a group of brahmans.

[This is the courtyard temple where the ceremony took place. It had heavy canvas "walls" on all four sides and opened facing the ghat. We sat at the top of the stairs of the ghat. In the picture it's that little roof to the right.]

At the curtains were guards holding silver staffs and yak fans and another guard with a rifle. Inside the brahmans were attending to Radha's morning bath. I couldn't believe it. It was so intimate. They were using silver articles to offer her perfumed cloths, bathed her with milk, yogurt, water, sandalwood paste, washed her hair, put henna in it, and decorated it was a garland of flowers. Women were singing outside. They offered a ghee lamp and there were these magnificent horns and drums that were played.

The curtains closed, but no one moved. Brahmans were singing chants now. Occasionally a woman would come into the compound and offer some food to Her by giving it to the priest. Then the bells again and the curtains opened. Radha was there and they were showing Her how She looked in a mirror. Then they placed a tray over Her head and poured water in it. The tray had holes in it and so the water lightly showered down on Her. I watched and was overwhelmed by the opulence, the grandeur, the devotion, the intimacy, and the privilege that we were able to at the right spot at the right time.

More bells started ringing and the man we had met came back and told us, "Go! Go!" and so our darshan had ended. With that abrupt dismissal we paid our obeisances to the Queen of Vrindavan and left.
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Seven Temples

I was able to visit all seven original temples. I had gone to a few of them by myself, but wasn't getting along fast enough. I had heard about a mother and son from New Zealand who were going every day to all seven and met them at a party. The son, N, was 10 years old and was actually going by himself these days. His mother said that he would love to take me and so we planned to meet the following day at Radha Syamasundara.

It was great and we had such a great time. He was a wonderful guide, knew all kinds of things, where special places were, and all the shortcuts! We went from Radha Syamasundara Mandir to Radha Damodara Mandir, then took a rikshaw to Madan Mohan Mandir (old and new) and saw some samadhis. Then back by rikshaw to Gokulananda Mandir, then walked to Radha Raman Mandir, more samadhis and appearance place, Radha Gopinatha Mandir (picture above of the older one) and samadhi, then Govinda Mandir (old and new) and Yogamaya's spot there. Quite a whirlwind tour. I think we did it in 2-1/2 hours.

In general, I was very happy with the level of Deity worship. I know that sounds very stuck up, but when we came twenty years ago, things were pretty abysmal. Deity rooms were dirty, outfits were mismatched and subpar, pujaris were often not present--it just wasn't what you would expect. This time I felt that Everyone was well taken care of and that there was great attention to detail. Even with all the controversy about Radha Damodar Mandir and Srila Prabhupada's quarters, I must say that everything looks very good there.

I spent some time at the Govinda Temple of Rupa Goswami (pictures to the right and below). In looking at the years that things were built and when people died, I found some interesting things I hadn't known. For instance, Rupa Goswami never saw the Govinda Temple. He died in 1564 and the temple was completed in 1590. Raghunath Bhatta Gosvami and his disciples began construction some time after 1570. It's an absolutely exquisite building. I can't imagine what it looked like before it was taken apart. I really loved it there.

I went into the cave of Yogamaya next to the temple. It's also the spot where the Govinda Deity was found. You have to walk up a bunch of stairs to get to the door, enter a little vestibule, then go down some stairs with a very low ceiling to get to the shrine. The ceiling there is also very low. Apparently this Deity of Yogamaya (Lord Krsna's sister) was also worshipped by Rupa Goswami and was put in safekeeping during the raids and then reinstalled.

There was a kirtan going on in the cave, very quiet and sweet. Then two women starting crying--at first very softly, then louder and gasping for air, in ecstasy. This kind of crying has happened to me. It just takes over and you can't control it. It can be very embarrassing. So here I was on the other side of it as an observer. I appreciated it but then I wanted it to stop. Not very kind on my part. I guess I didn't understand it. I found myself wanting to know more about what they were feeling and why.

I've never heard about the Goswamis worshipping Yogamaya. It seems a very interesting idea. Almost as if two traditions have overlapped here. Anyone out there know about this?
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Soooo long ago!

My daughter connected with an old friend the other day on Facebook and came up with this picture--1979, San Francisco, at Ratha Yatra. Wow. Thirty years ago. I still have that sari, too funny! We used to make Lord Jagannatha a cart using her wagon and take Them all to the park. We'd have cookies, sandesh, fruit, and nectar drink to offer and then distribute the prasadam. I'll see if I can find some of those pictures. Now I can do the same with my grandson. Hmmm, he has a great wagon.

I followed her to school one day

From my journal, January 1, 2009

Didn't really think I'd go to any schools. Wanted to focus on temples and chanting. But, one day, I was lost and couldn't find Radha Damodara Mandir. (I later discovered that I walked past it a couple of times.) I asked a little girl, "Radha Damodara Mandir?" She pointed toward where I had just come. She saw my face and decided to take me there. Along the way she picked up a friend. They took me in and then took me on parikrama around the temple and samadhis. She said she was going to school--the word "school" and a motion with her hand. So, I invited myself along. I felt like Mary's little lamb who followed her to school one day, school one day . . .

They met in what looked like an abandoned temple, but I later found out that it's an abandoned courthouse at Govind Ghat. The veranda is sunny, so they put out mats and line up according to grade levels, using their backpacks and bags as desks. There are two black boards leaned up against a wall, with two worn-out charts for numbers and the alphabet. The teacher has a chair and when the principal comes, she has a desk and chair. A nice sign is hung up on the building--Sri Govind Primary School, Vrndavan.

Each child has pencils and pens in their bag, a school book or two, and a small notebook for practicing their writing. Also in their bag is a stainless steel plate for lunch which is delivered every day by Akshya Patra, the rtvik group in Vrndavana. That's it for school. There's recitation, discipline with a stick, a few books, and very little else.

They brought in a translator, eventually, to see what I was doing there. They somehow thought that I was going to take the two girls back with me to America to go to my school. "When will you take them?" she asked. I had to quash that idea real fast. The translator was a bit insulting but I just kept apologizing and saying that my curiosity has gotten me in trouble more than once. Eventually we all became friends and I offered to help them. The principal said they needed uniforms--some of the children's clothes were in severe need of repair--but I asked about books. She said "As you like." Well, I took that as an instruction.

When I was in Delhi to see the dentist--that's a whole 'nother story--we went for lunch at a bookstore in Khan Market. I was pretty tired and my friends had errands to do, so I decided to stay and look at children's books. I was really dismayed to see that about 80% of the books were in English. Then I found a section of books that were bilingual--English and Hindi. They were so adorable that I started taking them off the shelf and making a pile. One of the bookstore employees helped me look for appropriate children's books that were either bilingual or Hindi only. There were so inexpensive--50 to 100 rupees or $1 to $2 each--it just didn't seem to matter. Everyone at the Govind Primary School could have a book of their choice. I was so excited!

The next day I called D. Swami to see if he knew of someone who could translate for me when I brought the books to the school. He found a great guy, J., who was born in Mathura, close by, and was an excellent English speaker.

A few days later we went to the school, books in hand. I apologized to the teacher again for previously barging in. I told her that in America (the day before was Christmas) we always give presents. So, I brought presents for everyone--books!

The kids were so excited. I put down a cloth and put all the books on it. I asked that the little ones come first to choose. That was okay for about two minutes, then everyone was there going through the books. It was so much fun! J. told the teacher that she had to read each book to the whole class. What a great idea. I thought I might be able to come again before I left, but wasn't able to. Maybe M. will be able to. We'll see.

I also visited the Sandipani Muni School. It's for children who cannot pay for school. Children are sponsored and get meals, clothes, books, and school. R. has so many great programs related to the school. He has a health facility and hospital for families, sewing facility for single parent girls, nursery for children who are in the care of students attending the school (they get bathed and fed). They also have a library, computer lab, tofu-making facility and so much more. I'm hoping to raise some money for classroom leveled readers. Center for Learning Resources publishes the bilingual books I brought in Delhi and they're leveled to help new readers. I'd also like to get computer books in Hindi and see what I can do to get Hindi fonts for their computers. Looks like I already have plans to go back!

. . . All this from following a little girl in Vrndavana. Radhe Radhe!
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Jiva Goswami's Disappearance Day

From my journal, December 30th
Jiva Goswami, Wikipedia link

Jiva Gowami's Disapperance Day was a special day. There I was in Vrndavana and I could go to his samadhi to observe it. My place was just up the street from Radha Damodara Mandir--boy, what a location!--so I went down after I paid obeisances to Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara (also close by, just a few doors up the street). As I went in to Radha Damodara, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Seemed like a regular crowd in the Temple courtyard. As I turned to go to Sri Jiva Goswami's samadhi, there were men sitting on mats on either side of the walkway. Each one was garlanded and had a bookstand with a book. They were all reading their books out loud. Now, not everyone had the same book, so it was a cacophony of Jiva Goswami! So incredible!

I tucked myself into a little aisle of samadhis where no one was sitting (in the picture, right behind the big one in the foreground) so I could see Jiva Goswami's samadhi and watch the proceedings. After a while of everyone reading, they stopped and started a short kirtan, beginning with my favorite, Madhurastakam, sweet Krsna.

adharam madhuram vadanam madhuram
nayanam madhuram hasitam madhuram
hridayam madhuram gamanam madhuram
madhur-adipater akhilam madhuram

His lips are sweet, His face is sweet,
His eyes are sweet, His smile is sweet,
His loving heart is sweet, His gait (walk) is sweet,
Everything is completely sweet about the Lord of Sweetness.

And, oh, how sweet it was. Transported--Srila Jiva Goswami in samadhi, all the devotees, Srila Prabhupada, all the devotees in samadhi, Srila Rupa Goswami, Sri Sri Radha Damodara, and monkeys, too! Can't get much better than that! Monkeys came and broke up the proceedings as the sadhus were leaving, eating their breakfast leftovers. Pots were thrown, yelling ensued, very funny. Can't take ourselved too seriously. Jaya Jiva Goswami, our Vaisnava lifeline!

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Reflection and pictures

It was great to be in India, in Vrndavana. But it was also horrible. The stink, the trash, feces everywhere, men peeing in the street--I've not seen that much in a looooong time! The only thing I could think of was that it was so gross so that I could see the nectar more clearly. The "hidden Vrndavana" is truely hidden when that is all you see. I was forced to go beyond the gross. Here in the US, at least where I live, everything is very nice--landscaped yards, streets with curbs and sidewalks, nice buildings, clean people. No need to go anywhere else. There's a kind of apathy and languor--this is enough. No need to go beyond it. But suffering is suffering, you will always find it. That's the springboard.

With that aside, I've posted pictures of the trip at Shutterfly. http://toindia2008.shutterfly.com/
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RadheRadhe!

It was a wonderful trip. It was not what I expected, but it was everything I needed. I pretty much threw out all my expectations the second day I was there and decided to let Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara lead the way. Srimati Radharani was really the one in charge. She is the guru.

I stayed in Vrndavana, Mathura District, Uttar Pradesh, India. For a few days I stayed with a friend while she got me acclimated to everything--here's the store, this is how much you should pay the rickshaw driver, here are some people you should meet, here's how to avoid the monkeys, etc. Then I was on my own in a little apartment, lent to me by another friend, in Seva Kunj.

This is the first page of my journal:

Seeing Your face encircled by curling locks of hair, Your cheeks beautified by earrings, Your lips full of nectar, and Your smiling glance, and also seeing Your two imposing arms, which take away our fear, and Your chest, which is the only source of pleasure for the Goddess of Fortune, we must become your maidservants.
-- SB 10.29.39

Surely they are describing Sri Syamasundaradevajimaharaja. So beautiful! From my little apartment I could see the top of the temple building of Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara Mandir. What wonderful Deities. (Their website has THE most beautiful pictures.) I would go most every day to this temple to chant japa. I would watch the pujaris putting the awesome candana (sandalwood paste) on the Deities' faces, intimately resting their arms on the Lord's while putting all the dots and decorations on His face. What a meditation.

This part of town is so wonderful. From the veranda I could see Seva Kunj to the right and to the left on the hill I could see Rupa Goswami's Govinda Mandir. Down on the street if I turned to the right from my gulley I could go to Sri Sri Radha Syamasundara Mandir, turn to the left I could go to Sri Sri Radha Damodara Mandir. Wow. So incredible.

More from my journal:

I really like LalaLali. The fact that Srimati Radharani gave Syamananda a Deity from Her heart is so amazing. Vrndavana is like that. So many stories of Her helping devotees. I pray that She helps me, too.

One day, while I was there chanting, I was watching the pujaris. One came in with a huge pile of Tulasi leaves and started setting up the arotika tray. He picked up a Tulasi leaf and dunked it in the acman cup, then stuck it on the bell. The he got two more, dunked them in the water then dropped them into the conch shell full of water. Then, to top this all off, he took the plate of Tulasi leaves over to the altar. He picked up one, touched Srimati Radharani's hand, then placed it at Sri Syamasundara's feet! He repeated this a couple of times.

I was completely enthralled. First, what a great idea, Tulasi on the bell and in the conch water. But then, touching Srimati Radharani's hand before offering them to Krsna's feet? Wow, of course! Everything should be like that. Everything offered to Syamasundara should have Her approval, Her touch. Her hand is in every devotional act we do, whether we recognize it or not. So sweet.

Everything there felt so natural. One devotee said that I looked like a fish in water. It's true. There was no opposition to anything--either from my side or from anyone else's. Everyone chants, everyone's a vegetarian, everyone knows the books I read--the shared culture, for me, was great. Of course, I'm the western woman in a sari so I can't blend in that much, but I felt at ease. I felt the authentic nature of the tradition and felt authenticated by it. I needed this trip in so many ways. I felt my place in the world there. I was at home, as I should be.

Going to India

Yup, going to India. Staying with a friend for a couple of days in Vrndavana, then by myself in Seva Kunj. Looking forward to a period of intense introspection--to look at myself and where I've ended up after all these years. Just had some photos taken for my visa and there's an old lady looking back at me--scarred and tired. Who is that person? I won't post again until I come back in January.

Radhe Radhe my friends!
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Janmastami in Second Life!

For Janmastami this year, I was unable to go to the temple (because the school year was just beginning) and so I did something a little different. You may have noticed that my profile picture here isn't a photo. It's actually a screen capture of my "avatar" in Second Life (SL).

Second Life is an online, virtual-reality community. You create your own person, or avatar they call it, and you can travel around and talk with people--either voice or by typing. There are quite a few devotees there and quite a few temples. I've met devotees from India, Australia, Spain, England, and the US. They're all so nice and all so different. There's a temple that I go to there called The Lotus Room.

The Lotus Room has temples for Sri Sri Radha Krsna, Sri Sri Gaura Nitai, and Lords Jagannatha, Subhadra, and Baladeva. There's also a vegetarian restaurant, a movie theater with devotee movies, a sankirtan bus, a quiet area with a waterfall, and a goshala. Music plays all the time you're there. And, there's a classroom up in the sky where you can go and listen to classes. There are also many books available that you can download.

For Janmastami, Radha, her SL name, built a new temple. (It's Radha who's put this all together.) It was locked and no one could get in until the festivities began. She had asked me to give a class and, after asking me many, many times, I agreed. She gave me some Linden dollars, the SL currency, to buy decorations. She and I met a few days before and did some decorating with garlands and lights. I bought something that would drop flowers from the sky and another thing that dropped little colored lights from the sky.

When the time arrived, we all arrived. We set our environment to midnight so that it was dark. It was all so beautiful--the decorations, the devotees, the Deities--so beautiful. There were about six of us there from all around the world. For some it was early in the morning, others mid day, and for me it was almost midnight. And, for some it was Saturday and some it was Sunday.

I thought it would be fitting to read from Krsna Book that night, just as I remember reading it with Srila Prabhupada in New Vrndavana. (I read from the chapter "Prayers by the Demigods for Lord Krsna in the Womb." The following text was taken from http://krsnabook.com/ch2.html.) After the reading we talked, and typed, about Srila Prabhupada, danced to the kirtan and had a wonderful, transcendental time.

Hare Krsna! Jaya Srila Prabhupada!

"At this time Lord Brahma and Lord Siva, accompanied by great sages like Narada and followed by many other demigods, invisibly appeared in the house of Kamsa. They began to pray for the Supreme Personality of Godhead in select prayers which are very pleasing to the devotees and which award fulfillment of their desires. The first words they spoke acclaimed that the Lord is true to His vow. As stated in the Bhagavad-gita, Krsna descends in this material world just to protect the pious and destroy the impious. That is His vow. The demigods could understand that the Lord had taken His residence within the womb of Devaki in order to fulfill this vow. The demigods were very glad that the Lord was appearing to fulfill His mission, and they addressed Him as satyam param, or the Supreme Absolute Truth.

"Everyone is searching after the truth. That is the philosophical way of life. The demigods give information that the Supreme Absolute Truth is Krsna. One who becomes fully Krsna conscious can attain the Absolute Truth. Krsna is the Absolute Truth. Relative truth is not truth in all the three phases of eternal time. Time is divided into past, present and future. Krsna is Truth always, past, present and future. In the material world everything is being controlled by supreme time, in the course of past, present and future. But before the creation, Krsna was existing, and when there is creation, everything is resting in Krsna, and when this creation is finished, Krsna will remain. Therefore, He is Absolute Truth in all circumstances. If there is any truth within this material world, it emanates from the Supreme Truth, Krsna. If there is any opulence within this material world, the cause of the opulence is Krsna. If there is any reputation within this material world, the cause of the reputation is Krsna. If there is any strength within this material world, the cause of such strength is Krsna. If there is any wisdom and education within this material world, the cause of such wisdom and education is Krsna. Therefore Krsna is the source of all relative truths.

"Dear Lord, husband of the goddess of fortune, devotees who are dovetailed in Your service do not fall down from their high position like the impersonalists. Being protected by You, the devotees are able to traverse over the heads of many of Maya's commanders-in-chief, who can always put stumbling blocks on the path of liberation. My dear Lord, You appear in Your transcendental form for the benefit of the living entities so that they can see You face to face and offer their worshipful sacrifices by ritualistic performance of the Vedas, mystic meditation and devotional service as recommended in the scriptures. Dear Lord, if You did not appear in Your eternal transcendental form, full of bliss and knowledge--which can eradicate all kinds of speculative ignorance about Your position--then all people would simply speculate about You according to their respective modes of material nature." . . .

"The appearance of Krsna is the answer to all imaginative iconography of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Everyone imagines the form of the Supreme Personality of Godhead according to his mode of material nature. In the Brahma-samhita it is said that the Lord is the oldest person. Therefore a section of religionists imagine that God must be very old, and therefore they depict a form of the Lord like a very old man. But in the same Brahma-samhita, that is contradicted; although He is the oldest of all living entities, He has His eternal form as a fresh youth. The exact words used in this connection in the Srimad-Bhagavatam are vijnanam ajnanabhid apamarjanam. Vijnanam means transcendental knowledge of the Supreme Personality. Vijnanam is also experienced knowledge. Transcendental knowledge has to be accepted by the descending process of disciplic succession as Brahma presents the knowledge of Krsna in the Brahma-samhita. Brahma-samhita is vijnanam as realized by Brahma's transcendental experience, and in that way he presented the form and the pastimes of Krsna in the transcendental abode. Ajnanabhid means that which can match all kinds of speculation. In ignorance, people are imagining the form of the Lord; sometimes He has no form and sometimes He has form, according to their different imaginations. But the presentation of Krsna in the Brahma-samhita is vijnanam--scientific, experienced knowledge given by Lord Brahma and accepted by Lord Caitanya. There is no doubt about it. Sri Krsna's form, Sri Krsna's flute, Krsna's color--everything is reality. Here it is said that this vijnanam is always defeating all kinds of speculative knowledge. "Therefore, without Your appearing as Krsna, as You are, neither ajnana-bhida (nescience of speculative knowledge) nor vijnanam would be realized. Ajnanabhid apamarjanam--by Your appearance the speculative knowledge of ignorance will be vanquished and the real experienced knowledge of authorities like Lord Brahma will be established. Men influenced by the three modes of material nature imagine their own God according to the modes of material nature. In this way God is presented in various ways, but Your appearance will establish what the real form of God is."

"The highest blunder committed by the impersonalists is to think that when the incarnation of God comes, He accepts the form of matter in the modes of goodness. Actually the form of Krsna or Narayana is transcendental to any material idea. . . . That is expressed in the Srimad-Bhagavatam as suddha-sattva, or transcendental. He does not belong to the material mode of goodness, and He is above the position of material goodness. He belongs to the transcendental eternal status of bliss and knowledge.

"Dear Lord, when You appear in Your different incarnations, You take different names and forms according to different situations. Lord Krsna is Your name because You are all attractive; You are called Syamasundara because of Your transcendental beauty. Syama means blackish, yet they say that You are more beautiful than thousands of Cupids. Kandarpa-koti-kamaniya. Although You appear in a color which is compared to the blackish cloud, because You are transcendental Absolute, Your beauty is many many times more attractive than the delicate body of Cupid. Sometimes You are called Giridhari because You lifted the hill known as Govardhana. You are sometimes called Nandanandana or Vasudeva or Devakinandana because You appear as the son of Maharaja Nanda or Devaki or Vasudeva. Impersonalists think that Your many names or forms are according to a particular type of work and quality because they accept You from the position of a material observer.

"Our dear Lord, the way of understanding is not to study Your absolute nature, form and activities by mental speculation. One must engage himself in devotional service; then one can understand Your absolute nature, transcendental form, name and quality. Actually only a person who has a little taste for the service of Your lotus feet can understand Your transcendental nature or form and quality. Others may go on speculating for millions of years, but it is not possible for them to understand even a single part of Your actual position." In other words, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krsna, cannot be understood by the nondevotees because there is a curtain of Yogamaya which covers Krsna's actual features. As confirmed in the Bhagavad-gita, naham prakasah sarvasya. The Lord says, "I am not exposed to anyone and everyone." When Krsna came, He was actually present on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra, and everyone saw Him. But not everyone could understand that He was the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Still, everyone who died in His presence attained complete liberation from material bondage and was transferred to the spiritual world.

"O Lord, the impersonalists or nondevotees cannot understand that Your name is identical with Your form." Since the Lord is absolute, there is no difference between His name and His actual form. In the material world there is a difference between form and name. The mango fruit is different from the name of the mango. One cannot taste the mango fruit simply by chanting, "mango, mango, mango." But the devotee who knows that there is no difference between the name and the form of the Lord chants Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare and realizes that he is always in Krsna's company.

"For persons who are not very advanced in absolute knowledge of the Supreme, Lord Krsna exhibits His transcendental pastimes. They can simply think of the pastimes of the Lord and get the full benefit. Since there is no difference between the transcendental name and form of the Lord, there is no difference between the transcendental pastimes and the form of the Lord. For those who are less intelligent (like women, laborers or the mercantile class), the great sage Vyasadeva wrote Mahabharata. In the Mahabharata, Krsna is present in His different activities. Mahabharata is history, and simply by studying, hearing and memorizing the transcendental activities of Krsna, the less intelligent can also gradually rise to the standard of pure devotees.

"The pure devotees, who are always absorbed in the thought of the transcendental lotus feet of Krsna and who are always engaged in devotional service in full Krsna consciousness, are never to be considered to be in the material world. Sri Rupa Gosvami has explained that those who are always engaged in Krsna consciousness, by body, mind and activities, are to be considered liberated even within this body. This is also confirmed in the Bhagavad-gita: those who are engaged in the devotional service of the Lord have already transcended the material position.

"Krsna appears to give a chance both to the devotees and nondevotees for realization of the ultimate goal of life. The devotees get the direct chance to see Him and worship Him. Those who are not on that platform get the chance to become acquainted with His activities and thus become elevated to the same position."

Radhastami ki jaya!

A little bit of mercy here. Srimati Radharani continues to stay at my house and I'm so fortunate. Here She shows Her little feet with Her moon-like nails.

I love the swing festival. I can think of so many festivals where the Deities should swing. The swing festival was a few weeks ago, but here it is Radhastami and it's hot . . . what a good reason to swing the Deities! I'm including a movie. (It was taken with a little camera so it's a little difficult to see.)


Swinging Sri Sri Radha Vanamali,
candles,
slight breeze,
crickets,
cicadas,
birds,
giant bees,
Tulasi,
Srila Prabhupada singing--what a wonderful evening.

Hmmmm, yummy prasadam.

You can do this, too.


It's really so much fun!


Jaya Srila Prabhupada, who brought this personal relationship to us, so that we can know Sri Sri Radha Krsna, talk with Them, serve Them, swing Them.

Jaya Radheeeee!

Morning Memories

Los Angeles, California, USA,1972

After mangala arati, and in the middle of japa, a friend and I would run out of the temple room and through the sanctuary to the side of the building. Soon Srila Prabhupada would be going for his walk and we had a chance to see him. We grabbed a broom and a couple of flowers so we could sweep and drop petals on the steps outside his door. Then we’d hide behind a telephone pole down the alley so we could see him as he was driven off for his morning walk.

The anticipation between the time he left for his walk and the time he returned was palpable. Everything that needed to be done had to be done by the time he came back. Anticipation and stress combined to create a morning rush of ecstasy.

When word of his arrival came, we could hear the bustle of activity in the kitchen and altar room—Deities were bathed and dressed, carinamrita was prepared, arati paraphernalia was ready, incense charcoal lit, and devotees packed the temple room. As we waited for him to come in the door our japa became louder, more concentrated.

We fell to the ground when we saw him come through the door. Some would watch him pass and then bow to the ground, waiting to get a glimpse of his feet. Bells would ring and the altar doors would open with huge clouds of incense billowing out.
He greeted the Deities with such reverence--a slow approach to the ground and ultimate surrender in his dandavat.

We were so happy to see him we would sing the Govinda prayers with tears in our eyes. All our senses and emotions were fulfilled and conflicted at the same time. We would spend the next hour watching his every move, riveted to his words.

When the class was over and he left the temple room, that little bit of Vrndavana stayed with us throughout the day. In that hour or so of time with Srila Prabhupada we got an inkling of what it was to love Sri Sri Radha and Krsna and how to be Vaishnavas to the glory of our guru. I pray that those days stay with us forever.

Jaya Srila Prabhupada!






Photos used
with permission
from BBT International
http://www.prabhupada.krishna.com/



Posted on the 36th anniversary of Srila Prabhupada accepting me as his disciple.
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Flower house update

Here's the latest permutation of the Second Life flower house. Can't you just imagine the Deities there?


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More flower houses!

Here's a flower house I'm making in Second Life!



Now that's a flower house! Jaya Prabhupada!





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Flower House

Since it's Spring Break--and I have the time--I was thinking about a flower house for SriSriRadhaSyamasundara.

I had been meditating on it for a while--what would a flower house be like?--so looked it up on the Internet. The descriptions were about garlands of flowers draped to make a house. I knew that would never happen, so I thought about making a styrofoam structure and hot gluing flowers.

As I went to bed that night I thought about shapes, flowers, and colors.

The next morning as I was driving to a friend's house to work on the garden, I passed a huge pile of bamboo out on the curb for pick up.

I stopped the car, got out, and started going through the pile. It was great bamboo--big, thick, and green--in 4 foot lengths.

I gathered up an armful and put it in the backseat of the car.

Later on I brought it home and, using the table saw, cut it into lengths to lash into a framework.

It took a couple of days to put together and decorate, but, wow, what fun!

I asked a M. over to take pictures and we had a wonderful, late-evening kirtan with A. and M. These darker pictures really capture the mood of that kirtan. (Special thanks to M!)

Jaya SriSriRadhaShyamasundara! Jaya Prabhupada!

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Women in Saffron

A while back, I was talking to a small group of devotees in the Temple room. Someone asked me what it was like when I lived in the Temple. As I was recounting a story, I happened to mention that I wore saffron. There was a brahmacari in the back of the group who started laughing. He was laughing so hard that he actually fell over. I asked him what was so funny and he said that he had never heard of a woman wearing saffron, thought it was hilarious, and actually didn't believe me.

I was upset, needless to say. I was upset that he had never heard about Srila Prabhupada's female disciples who were celibate monks, upset that our history was not passed down, upset that he would laugh at something so serious, and upset that he would think I was lying.

I joined the Hare Krsna Movement in 1971 in Fresno, California, USA. After being discouraged by so many movements--the anti-war movement, the resistance movement, the women's movement, union organizing--the Hare Krsna Movement was a breath of fresh air straight from the spiritual world. So many things were going on. There were Temples all over the world.

In Fresno I lived with four brahmacaris. While we had separate rooms, for the rest of the day we talked together, ate together, chanted together, everything together. We were all celibate monks--wearing saffron--and we were going to subvert the materialists and take them all back Home, back to Godhead! It was all so much fun.

Later on, when I moved to Los Angeles to be at a larger Temple, I continued to wear saffron. There was a kind of dress code in Los Angeles. Unmarried men and women wore saffron, married women wore yellow, and married men wore yellow or white.

The brahmacarinis lived in one room and we slept in our sleeping bags lined up like sardines-in-a-can. We shared one toilet and a shower with three shower heads. Most everyone wore saffron. Some wore printed saris, but they were expensive and hard to come by. Some just bought yardage at the fabric store and that worked just as well.

In the Temple room at this time, everyone stood wherever they wanted to in the room. Men and women stood next to each other during arotika, sat next to each other during class, and chanted japa together. We talked to each other outside the Temple room, too. Working side by side we cooked, worked in the office, did sankirtan, and did pujari work together. Everything was very egalitarian.

When the edict came down that we should stand on different sides of the Temple room, I was very distressed. I regularly chanted japa in front of Lord Jagannatha and now I was banished to the other side of the room! Men became very rude, because they were told they weren't supposed to talk to us. If the only person in the room was a man, who was I supposed to ask if I had a question?

So, back to our brahmacari at the beginning of this post. I explained to him that I joined the Hare Krsna Movement because I was very serious about self realization. I joined as a monk. Saffron was the perfect expression of that. I was initiated in a saffron sari and Srila Prabhupada made no comment about it. He gave me a very wonderful name--Satya devi. She is a wife of Krsna. As Her servant I look for the truth and serve Her as best I can. Jaya Prabhupada!

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